TOTP-April 2000
Typed by D.B.
Does Sporty ever become Stroppy? Not often, but push this girl too far and you won't wanna stick around long!
The lyrics for your next album are stolen from you bag...
That's not a problem cos I'd remember them anyway. A lot of my songs start off as little phrases and they tend to stick in my head. I sometimes come up with new songs when I'm taking a bath so I end up leaving little wet footprints across the carpet while I scamper around looking for a piece of paper!
Someone accuses you of taking steroids...
Hahahahaha! That would just make me laugh. At least it would be a good excuse for being such a big bird! Do you know, the tabloid papers always make me laugh cos they always get things so completely wrong. There was a story about Scott from Five the other day next to a photo of Abs. Durrrr! It's like when people call me Melanie B. Come on, I've been on a sunbed but I'm not that brown!
You here someone saying the best thing about Never Be The Same Again is Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes...
Erm, I sometimes think that's the only reason it got to No. 1. I'm really lucky and I really appreciate that she's worked with me. It's my insecurities talking! I reckon everyone in the world's unsure and people who say they arn't are the worst.
Emma has a loud party at her Hampstead flat and keeps you up all night with her loud music...
I'd blame Melanie B because it would probably be her fault. Melanie B is the loudest person in the whole wide world so staying in the same hotel with her for years on end means I've learnt to sleep through anything. Now Pheonix is getting Melanie back on my behalf!
Geri gets to work with Madonna on her next single...
Nah. Things like that don't bother me. I'm way too easy-going. I'd be like, 'oh yeah, good luck to you, Geri.' I mean, at first I'd be a bit jealous but whatever. (Shouting louder than Mel B!) Whatever! Life's great. I'm No. 1. I don't care!
A member of Westlife says you look like a boy...
Ooh. (A ripple of a frown flickers across Mel's forehead.) Actually I was really upset when I read that because I'm a girl and we're all a bit insecure about our looks. Apparently though Westlife never said it and when they heard the story they immediately sent me apologetic messages. They even gave me a bottle of champagne when we met up at TOTP today. It might have cyanide in it but... Nah, I get on great with Westlife!
Some declares your relationship with J to be a huge publicity scam...
(A big, black, menacing cloud hovers over Mel's head!) Well, somebody already has and I felt really, really upset. It's really hard for me and J. We've only known each other a few weeks and our relationship is all over the papers. We don't need all this intrusion. Luckily it's cool that we both understand how the press works and I reckon it's brought us closer together.
A dodgy company uses your face and name to advertise toilet freshener...
(Finally a puff of steam erupts from Mel's ears) Arrrggghhh! I would not be impressed. I'd definitely get the lawyers out on that one.
The airline loses your collection of trainers and you have to wear black elasticated plimsols...
(Mel well and truly blows a gasket!)
That... is... it! I'd go off the my head! I'd demand that they got every single pair back to me and then I'd preform in my bare feet rather than wear tose horrible plimmies. Yuk!
Here's something else from the same issue of TOTP you might find interesting. It's a short interview with J from 5ive.
PRIVATES ON PARADE!
Do you have a secret hobby or interest?
I write a lot of the raps but I also like writing poetry, that's something not many people know.
Has your new-found, loved-up status been of inspiration to your poetry!
(Laughs.) Oh no that hasn't really changed anything. It hasn't got that far yet!
Do you and Mel enjoy romantic workouts at the gym?
Not so far but of the two of us, I've got to be the fittest. I'm sure Mel'd give me a run for my money though!
Have you had time to introduce Mel to your parents?
She actually spoke to my mum on the phone the other night. We were just in a bar and I was talking to her when my sister grabbed the phone and put Mel on to my mum. it felt a bit strange. It's didn't bother me but it was funny.
Are you thinking about having any more tattoos done?
No. It's nothing to do with the pain or anything, but I just think that one is enough. Mine actually didn't hurt that much. It was just like a pin scratching against your skin.
When you next have some free time, what's the one thing you really have to sort out?
I've got loads of unpaid bills and parking tickets lying around. I've also got to sort out my TV licence, so that's probably a good place to start!